After Divorce- 7 Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion
by Joanie Winberg
Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person's life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living “out of the habit” of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years. Use this precious opportunity to rediscover and appreciate the real you. Learn to understand your life purpose and start to live the life of your dreams, both personally and professionally.
1) Treasure Your Gifts Within
Realizing we are all born as “gold nuggets” is a hard concept for many people to believe about themselves. Think about how magnificent you really are! Over time, you might have forgotten your unique gifts and are only thinking of what you don't like about yourself or your life. Set a new intention, starting today, to list all of your great qualities and read that list every day. Keep reading it until you believe it. Examples: beautiful smile, kindness, generosity, loving, caring, intelligent… keep going. Your list is endless, when you start focusing on your great qualities. Allow yourself to see the shining gold within. It's already there!
2) Give Yourself a Break
During and after a divorce, it is common to have the feeling of grieving, similar to that of the loss of someone. Many people feel the need to stay busy to keep their minds off of this stressful time, such as working overtime, but let this time also include pampering yourself, even if only for 10 minutes. Yes, you do deserve to do something special for yourself. It can be as simple as taking a bath, a walk, or reading a book with your favorite cup of tea. Give yourself permission - it's O.K.
3) No regrets! No bitterness!
Holding onto regrets and bitterness will only keep your life from moving forward. Is your inner voice working overtime with all the “what ifs” and “if onlys”? This is normal for a period of time, but ask yourself…are these thoughts serving me or helping me feel better? Will thinking about them over and over again change anything? To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and to learn from your past experiences to prepare yourself for the next exciting chapter of your life. A quote from Buddy Hackett, “I never hold a grudge because while I am being angry, the other person is out dancing.”
4) Enjoy the Little Things
Life after divorce usually means added responsibilities. If you are a single parent or are now the one responsible for the once shared to-do list, how do you handle it all without being totally stressed out? To start, learn to laugh more, especially at yourself. Learn to let things go and not take life so seriously. Lighten-up! Learn to live in the present moment. Living in the present is where all the “good stuff” in life happens. Yesterday's worries are gone forever and tomorrow's to-do list can wait.
5) What Makes Your Heart Sing?
What really matters to you? What do you feel is your true purpose in life? If someone asked you that question, how would you answer them?
Why is it so important to be clear on what your life's purpose is? Knowing your purpose, will give you a true sense of who you are and why you were put on this earth. It gives your life direction and helps you make clear and easy decisions concerning that direction. It's your compass! Without a purpose, can your life be compared to a piece of driftwood floating endlessly in whichever direction the tide decides to take it, and ending up on any beach with no will of its' own?
Take this time to focus on what really matters to you. Feel the true passions that exist in your heart and write them down. This is an essential step to re-enter the workplace or start a new career. This process will save you a lot of time and energy.
6) What Are Your Vibes Saying About You?
Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction? Maybe you have heard the expressions, “What you think about, you bring about” or “The more attention you give to something, the more attention it will give to you.” How can you attract whom and what you really want into your life? With whom does it start with? How does it start? What would be your first step?
Here are three steps to get you started…
1) Realize YOU ALREADY HAVE THE POWER within to attract whom and what you really want into your life. You can not change anyone else. The only person you can change is yourself. Look at your thought patterns. Which patterns work for you? Which patterns may not be serving you?
2) Start to notice the people with whom you associate. Are they positive thinkers? Do they encourage you? Do they support you? OR…are they negative thinkers? Do they discourage your hopes and dreams?
3) Start reading a personal growth book or listen to a positive CD every day. Make reading and listening to positive material a part of your daily routine. Select a specific time each day- maybe the morning is the best time for you or maybe in the evening instead of watching TV. Start today- take the first step- feel the difference.
7) Be True To Yourself
During and even after a divorce, we are often filled with doubts. We question ourselves about what is right, what to do or how we feel. Should I or shouldn't I? It seems difficult to make a decision. Listen to your heart. What feels right? What doesn't feel quite right? If a situation does not feel right, honor your resistance by pausing or waiting. Sometimes waiting is the best thing to do. By waiting you may have allowed the situation to unfold more easily without having to worry!
If a decision feels good or right, usually that means you are heading in the right direction. When you listen to your heart, you are in integrity with yourself. When you are in integrity with yourself, you learn to say NO more easily.
Divorce is not easy or fun and you can make it through this time in your life by realizing you WILL make it! Also, honor yourself and listen to your heart! Your true purpose and passions are waiting to be rediscovered within you! When you rediscover your magnificence and the “gold nugget” you are already, you will then start to live your life with more ease and enjoy the feeling of peace. Now…you are truly free!
***
Joanie Winberg is a speaker, coach, Published Author, Behavior Specialist and Certified Laughter Leader. Her new book coming out December 7, 2006- “Rising to the Top”- A Guide to Self Development compliments her product “40 Days to a Happier Life” CD and Journal Set. For more information go to http://www.HappyWednesday.com, or contact Joanie Winberg at jw@joanwinberg.com, or call (508) 947-2750.Articles are free to be reprinted as long as author's bio remains intact.